Vampire and love equal disaster
by Shykeiro
Summary: Third story in english language. Corrected. Nikola want a chance with Helen and feel jealous of Druitt.


_There's a story with the great Nikola Tesla xD_

_More seriously, there's another story in sanctuary's theme. This time, it will be Nikola the principal character. You must notice that it's not my great favorite, but I think the personnality is not so far of the character._

_A great thanks to my betareaders who have all the patience for correct me because I'm really not good in english. I'm look at my two stories which my beta have correct and seriously, I fell dumb xD Really, but really dumb. So again a thank for my beta who have does great work._

_Good reading!!_

* * *

The world... A small blue ball made by God, which human beings tear apart every day. There has never been any reason, nor desire to share. They don't want to see that they do this only to satiate their desire for absolute superiority. But they are all equals, all inferiors. It has always been as it is, for more than a century. Human history is a loop, repeating itself endlessly, unable to close. This can only be observed theoretically, platonically and is impossible to explore, even for a scientist. In fact, the world is nothing but a vast chessboard, a playground where my pawns take their place with each passing day. I, Nikola Tesla, can only imagine all these people prostrating themselves before a race a thousand times greater than theirs.

The sun passes through the curtains and blinds me for a moment. The day arose without warning. It's attacking me as always. I leave my files for a moment and fix my eyes on the window, squinting. With a slight sigh, I get up slowly and close the curtains with a jerk. I am one of those scientists who doesn't like being disturbed during their research. There are things that do not change. The blinding sun, the silence in the office, despite the years, neither will change. This is the cycle of life on Earth. I find that cycle incredibly annoying, tasteless, grotesque.

I stay a moment standing at the window. This new day dawning is not a sign for rejoicing. There will be, in the days to come, more sadness and anger than any other existing emotion. Why? Oh God...the reason is so obvious, so...sad? Ashley Magnus is dead.

I sit on a chair, ignoring my work, my gaze lost in the void. Everything happened so fast. We didn't have the time to take advantage of to avoid the carnage. I don't know if I really feel something. It's hard to say. This young woman was nothing to me, only the daughter of the most horrible man I have ever met. I must confess, to see Helen's face devastated by grief, it did something to me. It struck a chord that I thought was non-existent. To see her suffer, hopeless, I can't stand it. It's an obvious fact. How can anyone see the person they love fall apart in despair?

Love. Can I really love? I, who have lived so long in this world, who has seen companions come and go. Can I?

I think of Will, whose girlfriend died yesterday. I already had a discussion with the young man, but I realize now how truthful I was. There are things much more complicated than others in this world. Yet when I think of Helen, I think our relationship is different to this innocent and sweet love in Will's life. It's an emotion so much more complex, more intense, but also more painful. I believe I have always felt this connection, since the inception of the Five. However, I don't allow myself to founder in this emotion.

Helen is strong. Despite avoiding my gaze, she seemed to be master of herself while we walked around the Sanctuary to resolve the remaining problems. She impresses me. She has gained wisdom and willpower. I realize now, alone in that office, she became even more beautiful. I feel like a magnet attracted to metal. The comparison is rather pointless, it is even childish and weak as the image is so far from representing the reality of this feeling. Or is it I who am the weak one? Nothing more than that. That would be worse.

She has never understood me, never believed me. Rare were the times when we could agree on a topic, but I never really went against her will. I am aware of several things as I sit in this chair. My life is not as nebulous as I seemed to believe at first.

The world...this world...I find it immensely dull, vastly inferior to myself. My race is threatened with extinction. I think clearly because of being the last. She can't understand my reasoning, my goals. She sees me only as a tool to revive a race so much more than dangerous. She doesn't see the hidden reasons, the secret meaning of my research. Not the single goal of domination. This is not just a future of slavery for humans. It's a protective shelter. My way of escape. Because I'm afraid. More than anything else. This gift we received, it can be removed without warning. If ever I disappear...it will be the end. My own demise frightens me, I think. I don't want to be alone. Yes, it currently makes me the single, perfect, specimen. An almost God, superior to creatures treading the Earth, the man at the top of the food chain. Yet, despite the pride and the glory I can draw, it doesn't assuage me from the loneliness and weariness. When I see all these humans, mostly in large numbers, how can I not feel small despite the grandeur of my soul? Helen doesn't know what's really happening in my mind when I concoct a plan, an escape. She fills the blanks, using the only things she knows about me: usurpation and domination. This I find quite saddening.

The thing I don't understand is that she accepts Druitt. He continues to turn around her, but me...she pushes me away with all her might. As if I were nothing more than a thorn in her side. Why is he better than me? Ok, she has been engaged to this man, but that's it! This should be enough to discourage her, she knows that John is not someone she can trust. I've a right to take my chance, as he did. When I take into account my thoughts, I can't help but laugh. It's so very human, so pitiful. I look like someone who is very jealous.

Jealous? Me? Well, I can't stoop to something as low as this, unworthy of my blood...

I'm jealous.

This woman will drive me mad. Beautiful, desirable, attractive. Being in the same room, is in itself rewarding. Especially intellectually. She's smart, but so unaffected. So much more deserving than anyone. The only scientist, the only person I really accepted, admired, loved. I must admit, the fact that John is around her fills me with an anger that I didn't know I was capable of. I want Helen looking at me. Not this way she has to look at me when I do something that displeases her, but with a glance a woman would share with a man. Is too much asked?

-I often wonder about the reasons you must have to complicate your life like that, comes a voice in front of me.

I raise my eyes to see Will sitting on the sofa ahead of me. I frown. No... now is not the time for him to disturb me during my reflections. I tilt my head to the left, a strange smile on my face.

-I often wonder myself about the reasons you have to meddle in things which don't concern you.

My tone is extremely polite and my glance is cheerfully smug. I place my head on my hand without releasing my gaze from the young protégé of my Muse. With a smile and a shake of his head.

-You should go talk to her.

I frown. What? Sincerely he's...

-Don't think you're being subtle, I've seen your glances when Magnus isn't looking at you.

I clench my teeth. Really, if he could just stop this psychological analysis of my heart, it would give me great pleasure. I frown. This boy...If Will has noticed that I don't care for this conversation, he doesn't seem bothered about it.

-Every time you don't look at her, it's Magnus who throws a glance at you.

I clench my fists. If he could just care about his own business...

-She's suffering. Right now. She needs someone to take care of her.

He finally gets up and my eyes follow him. He goes as far as the threshold and stops there.

-I know it's not my business, but Helen has done so much for me and I can't leave her in this state of mind. Do something. I didn't know that vampires were cowards.

He leaves. I release a growl, worthy of my race. This kid upsets me, but his words touch me. Not in any way I would find cute or poignant, but they make me aware of something. Something I could never see myself. Helen looks at me. Really? This stupid, strutting young cockerel isn't playing with me? I look at my hands a moment. This worries me. Truly. The image of Helen, weeping silently in her office comes to my mind.

I land on my feet in a single bound. I leave the room and am almost running through the entire mansion to finally stop in front of Helen's office door. I look at the beautifully worked wood for a moment. I can't bring myself to open that door. Usually it's so easy, I can go in and say anything. Sometimes I'm really nasty, mocking, irritating. I find it amusing to wind up Helen, try to provoke her, but here, I must find the words to console her. Something in which I am not gifted.

I find myself able to put my hand on the door handle. I'm almost ready...no? At least, I passed the first step. I'm ridiculous. If somebody sees me, I'm certain they will laugh at me.

I enter without knocking.

-Hello hello!

As I feared, Helen is at her desk and she hurries to wipe her eyes. Helen, don't take me for an idiot. I know very well that you're sad, even if you show me your bravest face. You're so fragile and have been like that since the 1800s. I approach slowly and stop in front of her, opening my arms.

-You're not going to thank me?

I know...it's not the best way to get into her life, but I am who I am and unfortunately, these feelings are things which I can't control or understand

-What do you want Nikola? She sighs.

Oh my Helen, if you knew how I suffer to see you in this state. I believe that the worst thing in all of this, is that you certainly think I enjoy seeing you crying.

-I've not heard anyone thank me for all my time and hard work I have given you while everything is settling down

She's taken aback a moment. Haughtily, I seat myself down in front of her and fix my glance to hers, a little derisive smile on my lips.

-I'm waiting.

A kind of grin stretches across her lips. That's not a good smile...I fiddle with my hands. Luckily, she does not witness this evidence of my nervousness. She still says nothing.

-I'll take your silence for a thank you, I exclaim with an enthusiasm which seems totally false. I'm neither happy nor cheerful.

-Nikola...

I tilt my head.

-Yes Helen?

-Get out.

I frown. Her voice is still very quiet, but her glance darkens. Yet, I can't leave. I must manage something before leaving. I really am a good-for-nothing.

Hold on! I really thought that? I really have to love her for demeaning me as a human being. I sigh and massage my temples for a moment. This is real torture. I frown. I'm out of my element. I get up abruptly, she does the same, on her guard, almost frightened. I stop still. She has one hand on her belt. Does she know how cruel and hurtful she can be when she wants to? I've an evil grin, she grabs her gun, but doesn't take it out. I walk around her desk, she does too, but on the opposite side. She moves back towards the sofas and I follow her. She draws her firearm and points it towards me.

I keep my smile and my appearance changes slowly. My eyes disappear into black and fade out, my teeth stretch out, my claws grow.

-Helen, Helen, Helen.

My voice is hollow, beyond the grave. I growl slightly and snap my tongue against my teeth. She looks at me very seriously, her gun still trained on me. She seems determined to kill me, but she knows as well as I, in view of last time when we were face to face as opponents, that her bullets can't kill me. Oh sure...it hurts, I admit it, but that's all. I make a smile showing more details of my vampire teeth.

-Now you have finished your work, you return to your old habits, Nikola?

I prefer bullets. Seriously. Yes, yes, I'm capable of conscience. Well, it's surprised me too, but I must have a conscience if I fear extinction, no? All I fear is my end. Sounds like a conscience no?

-My old habits?

I love the tone of my vampire's voice. Helen finds it...just tiring and annoying. As though it always reminds her that our experimentation, one hundred years ago, had results much graver than we first thought. I'm not complaining. I am what I am and it's a privilege. Who wouldn't want to be one of the most powerful and threatening race in the whole world?

-Those of the most hateful man on the planet.

I charge at her and pin her as carefully as possible on a wall, holding both her wrists to prevent her from shooting me. I prevent her from moving her legs by sticking my pelvis against her. I look at her with my intensely deep blacks eyes. She blinks.

-Come on Helen...I'm not the worst man in the universe.

-You're not even a man!

My vampiric appearance disappears abruptly. My eyes now fully human, look into hers. She frowns. Maybe she's surprised by the glimmer of sadness in my eyes?

-No?

Our breath intermingles.

-So why does my heart beat for a woman, like any other human being in the world?

She's taken aback. I know what I have said just cut across her momentum to insult me or scold me. In fact, she's much too smart to insult me grossly. It would certainly be with class, with the words of our time. Although the 21st century has had some influence over her.

-Eh? Why? Why? Why? Why is it, a being of my greatness and my darkness can suddenly fall off its little cloud in the roughest way to become something even more human than the human beings.

She doesn't answer. I look at her and smile. In a strange way, but it's a smile.

-Do you know what I think? You and I... this close. It's a pity I didn't lock the door...

She pushes me away abruptly, I let her. She rubs her wrists, not daring to look at me. I know what she's thinking, I know I've made her contemplate my words.

-Oh Helen, I sigh. If you knew...

She raises her eyes toward me. She approaches, the gun still in hand, of course, but her arm is back against her body. She doesn't threaten me anymore. She stops in front of me and looks quietly at me. We remain like that for several minutes. How many? Don't ask....This woman is all I want with me for the rest of my life, no matter what. We're both immortals. I move a hand towards her. I know I hurt her in our early conversation when I spoke of her dead daughter with a callousness, an offhand lightness that I blame myself for even now. Yet, she is supposed to know me. Know that I'm not the best with feelings. I can flirt, tease, provoke. Not difficult to get a reaction out of people, but tell them our feelings. It's hell, a total dark hellhole and seriously, I'm not good at it.

-I'm so sorry.

For her, for Ashley, for what made her suffer all these years. She looks extremely surprised and it is rather amusing. She is starting to believe that I'm telling the truth, that I'm not leading her up the garden path. She approaches me again, and I draw her to me. She lays her head against me and I place my chin on her head. My arms surround her and we both close our eyes. Times stops. Lights go out. Only us. There's only us. Two very different souls, even opposed, but who have found each other through the ages. We had happiness under our nose but never had the courage. She trembles. She sobs. She cries. I can only hug her more. It will take a lot of time to heal her wound. I, Nikola Tesla, half-vampire in origin, selfish, above all, I make the promise, here, to take care of Helen Magnus, in a most human way: by giving myself to her, my body and soul, entirely.


End file.
